1.23pm Turn on Sky Sports News. Would you believe it, there’s an interview with Wigan legend Andy Farrell, talking about his new role on the backroom staff at Saracens. In a complete reversal of the usual order, Farrell is asked in a Union piece what he thinks about Super League’s latest new innovation. He diplomatically answers “It’s got people talking” which is certainly true, because I can’t remember Sky Sports News putting this much effort into a Super League story since… hmm… the London Broncos / Harlequins changeover?
1.26pm An ad break. Oh joy. The first ad is some OTT thing for the Heineken Cup. Have there been any adverts for the SL playoffs? I can’t remember any.
1.27pm T-Mobile and their sh*tty ads can f**k off.
1.28pm “Time, care and attention. That’s what makes the M. That’s what makes McDonalds.” Actually, isn’t that the exact opposite of what you get from McDonalds?
1.30pm And we’re back with SSN, going on about how ClubCall is a ‘world first’. Actually, that’s not quite true – the NBA Development League allows the teams with the three best records at the end of the season to choose their 1st round opponents. Sorry, Sky.
1.31pm SSN is now live from Headingley. Eddie Hemmings is there, of course, blabbing on and showing he can name the four teams remaining in the competition. Well done, Eddie. Now he explains the process of how Leeds can pick either Catalan Dragons or Wigan. I wish they could pick St Helens as well (although I doubt they would). Oh dear, it appears they’ve let some fans into the suite for this press conference (bizarrely, they refuse to show any shots of them).
1.33pm Eddie introduces Gary Hetherington and asks him to explain the process of selecting an opponent. Methinks I’m detecting a hint of padding. There’s no reason this process couldn’t take 30 seconds, is there? Apparently Gary and Brian McClennan have consulted with senior players and blah blah blah… JUST NAME YOUR OPPONENT ALREADY, GODAMN IT!
1.35pm “We had to wait and see the outome of this weekend’s games” says Gary. That was my understanding of how this works, too. Eddie asks Gary who Leeds will play, and after Gary ‘hilariously’ spinning it out a little longer, announces that next Friday Leeds Rhinos will play… Catalan Dragons. That took waaaay too long.
1.37pm Eddie now starts interview Dragons chief exec Christophe Levy. He’s got a pretty good grasp of English, at least as good as Stevo. He too starts waffling on a bit, about the challenge ahead etc. As Levy points out, the Dragons have never won at Headingley.
1.38pm Brian McClennan comes up to the podium to cheers of ‘bluey! bluey!’ from what I would have to assume are Leeds fans (although they don’t show these fans – it could be actors brought in to add some atmosphere for all we know). He’s now talking about how awesome the Dragons are, which seems odd considering he just chose to play them next weekend. Eddie keeps asking Bluey if he’s worried he’s just ‘done Kevin Walters’ job for him’. Somebody needs to stop trying to create a story where there isn’t one (hint: it’s Eddie).
1.40pm Of course, this also means we now know the teams for the other semi-final, adn Eddie now talks to Brian Noble about going over to Knowsley Rd to take on St Helens. According to Brian, it’s going to be ‘all about performance’. *Sigh* can’t he say something slightly more interesting?
1.42pm Now Eddie is talking to Eamonn McManus, who seems to have a slightly odd shade of hair colour. It’s somewhere between blond and white. It seems like it’s glowing… anyway, McManus hopes for a sellout at the GPW Recruitment Stadium next weekend. He’s not the only one.
Anyway, that’s the end of that and we have the two expected semi-finals: Leeds Rhinos vs Catalan Dragons and St Helens vs Wigan Warriors. Both should be interesting games and it will be curious to see whether Leeds’ momentum has been affected by the bye-week, because the Dragons have been right on form lately. And as for the big derby making up the other semi-final, it seems like a pick-em game at this point.
1.44pm And we’re back in the SSN studio, with an either over-excited or patronising (I can’t tell which) Sam Matterface and Charlotte Jackson. Hmmm, Charlotte. Maybe I’ll just watch SSN for a bit longer…